What a Cook Wants, 2

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Plats de Poulet

It's true, chickens are the new black. Restaurants have them as decor/fresh egg providers, urban hipsters keep them as pets and let them freely roam in their backyards, they even make fun party guests.
Not everyone has the space or desire to raise chickens, but we can all enjoy their antics. These ceramic desert plates offer two fowl perspectives, one near, one far. It's just the right touch of silly for your sweets.
Marla Dawn Chicken Desert Plates, set of 4, $42.

I Think Fried Rice Is Rather Nice

I am in a transitional time, dear reader. My day job ended three weeks ago, and I am trying to gracefully move into the life of a freelancer. Currently this means a lot of time at home, which has been a bit lonely. However, there is an upside: lunch!
Suddenly I have a full kitchen and stocked fridge at my disposal every day! No more throwing odd bits of cheese, fruit and pretzels into a bag as I tear out the door to commute, or paying too much for a limp sandwich made by a grumpy teenager. Finally, I am master of my (lunch) domain!
Here is today's deliciousness:


It was so good, and super-easy. Fried rice is a dish designed to use up leftovers, which I'm generating more of in my at-home lifestyle. Please vary this recipe to your heart's desire, I know I do! The only required parts are the rice, eggs and soy sauce, everything else is optional. Take what you like and leave the rest, my friends.

Fried Rice Is Rather Nice
inspired by Helene Siegel's Chinese Cooking for Beginners
Serves 4 (this recipe is easily halved)

3 tablespoons peanut or vegetable oil, divided
1/2 pound shrimp, shelled, deveined (leftover is fine, just skip the first step... not something I usually recommend :)
2 eggs beaten with 1 tsp. sesame oil and 1/2 tsp. salt
3/4 cup diced bell pepper
1/2 white onion, diced
3 scallions, sliced
3 cups leftover cold rice (white or brown)
1/2 pound BBQ pork, or ham, leftover tofu, seitan (seriously, it's good in this) or chicken, cut into 1/2-inch cubes
1 tbs. soy sauce (or a little more to taste)
1 tsp. garlic-chili sauce (find in Chinatown or the 'Asian' section of your supermarket)
dash white pepper

Heat 1 tbs. oil in wok (or large skillet) over high heat. Add shrimp; stir-fry until just pink, about 2 minutes. Transfer to platter, leaving oil in wok.
Add egg mixture; scramble until set but still soft (except you Dad, just dry 'em out). Transfer to platter; using spoon, break into bite-sized pieces.
Add remaining oil to wok, then bell pepper and onion; stir-fry until browned, about 4 minutes. Add scallions and stir-fry 20 seconds, then add rice. Break up rice to spread grains evenly while stir-frying. Add BBQ pork, reserved shrimp and egg, soy sauce, garlic-chili sauce and pepper. Stir-fry to combine and heat through, about 2 minutes. Serve!

Lunch at Chez Tory is great, though we're still looking for that dishwasher...

WANTED: Dishwasher

I need a dishwasher. Apparently I've offended the Dishwashing Fairy (probably that snide remark about the dishpan hands), so no dice there. Seriously you guys, I hate it and they won't wash themselves no matter how long I leave them alone. Since I left my parents' house I haven't had a dishwashing machine to call my own. Do you have any idea how much money I spend on hand lotion? And I'm such an old-school hostess-with-the-mostess that I can't bear to let guests "help" after dinner (no one should lift a finger when they're in my home). Please, help a sister out. I gotta find a dishwasher quick! Even at this very moment, I'm putting off doing the dishes by writing about not doing the dishes. Hey, is that postmodern? Nah, just lazy. Anyway, here's what I'm looking for. Tell your friends.

WANTED: Dishwasher
Hours: flexible, possibly erratic
Pay: negotiable... uh, unpaid internship
Experience: crucial, ideally many years spent honing your craft
Requirements: able to stand for long periods of time, must love smell of soap, can withstand very hot water, has patience to scrub tines of forks until there's no icky bits of egg left... you know, long muscular arms would be nice, as would broad shoulders and a strong back. Actually, I heard Abercrombie & Fitch has topless male models in their store at the Grove, that could work... twinkly eyes, can carry a tune... honesty matters, clever, a razor wit...

Uhh, yeah. A dishwasher, like I said. What?